Color of Love: Celebs in Interracial Relationships

Do people stick think marrying/ dating white is a key to the drama free life? Please!

Posted at 4:17AM on October 16th 2008 by star

I understood exactly what you meant. I am an African American woman. In your current and previous post, your comments are very negative towards African Americans. My point was that perhaps, without being aware of it, you come across that way to others. I don't expect other black people, regardless of where they are from, to lump me into a negative category just because of my heritage in America. I own my own home and yes it is in a predominantly white neighborhood--in fact I my presence is what keeps it from being "all" white, I value education, I know how to save, and I don't curse either. By the way, I have a degree in English and my Spanish isn't bad either. And I don't have anything against Africans or blacks from any other country. It is sad to stereo type an entire group of people because of the insensitive remarks of a few.

Posted at 12:24AM on October 16th 2008 by DDJ --my response to Carolyne

When I said "you guys" I meant African Americans, not just black men. I do not have an us versus them mentaility...they (black men & African Amereican's) do. They call me white because I bought my home in a predominantly white neighborhood, value education & know how to save for a rainy day, are my own person and dare to express my opinions, whether or not the black "brother's" agree with me. They call me white because I speak proper English, dress like a respectable woman & do not use curse words or fling my fingers all over the place to make a point. They call me white because I will not put up with disrespectful behaviors, insulting words and put downs...it's pathetic, but if valuing myself and refusing to accept or put up with nonsense and disrespectful behavior make sme "white", then I'm glad they think I'm too white. I'm not the one with a problem, they are!

Posted at 12:10AM on October 16th 2008 by Carolyne - My response to DDJ's post

This article was about finding love and possibilities. But the comments of many (not all) reflect fear, bitterness, and self-hatred. That is so unfortunate. My life got a whole lot better when I made the decision to stop putting faith in every statistic and open my eyes to the world around me. Who comes up with these negative statistics and what purpose do they really serve, but to further wound and depress? We spend so much time focused on the men that don't do right that we are blind to the men who love us. I've had close friends who swore off black men only to marry white men and find out that all relationships have ups, downs, and sometimes drama. Some of us should stop and think, if white men/women are so perfectly wonderful and respectful, why do they divorce each other? I decided to learn from the past--not live in it. I'm still open to love in any color, including my own. That is what it means to keep your options open.

Posted at 12:10AM on October 16th 2008 by ddj

I no longer chose to date Black men based on the their misogynsitic behaviors and many Black men dont value Black women and children. I will stay alone or date out, but I won't date black men, its too painful.

Posted at 11:45PM on October 15th 2008 by Rochelle

Thanks for the article, i no longer date Black men. I tired of the games, lies, deceit, schemes and irresponsible behaviors. I know its not all Brothers but its too many of them. I perfer dating out now and not dealing with Black man on a personal level anymore. I dont think all Brothers are bad but I also can't ignore those really bad stats on Black men's lives nor can I afford to ingnore the disrespectful behaviors and the fact that 70% of Black men abandon their children ........make OOW babies in adulterous relationships. Most of all Black men dont have Black women and children's backs so I decided its time for me to "Bail out" on the Brothers! After all Black men have never been loyal to us, expect when it comes to treating us bad.

Posted at 11:38PM on October 15th 2008 by Dee

TYPE YOUR MESSAGE HEREGood grief ! It sounds like we have a lot of issues to ponder. the black community at times seems so screwed up! It seems like we hate ourselves. Other racial groups don't sem to struggle with relationships the way we seem too. i wish every black man was married to a black women. it just works better and there is a lot less issues when we both have some sense about what a good relatinship is. about! running outside our race is not the answer

Posted at 11:25PM on October 15th 2008 by Janet

I have been in a long standing with a white man for 10 years. My son is by a black man. I do love men of all races. I believe that if you are looking for a good man. Look for more than race. Look at his heart. Does he listen to you? Does he make you feel special? I actually used to think that black women who dated outside of her race were uppity and not proud. I am very proud of my race and I am raising my son to be a strong proud black man. My white man supports me in this effort. Ladies don't get stuck on race, as it will keep you stuck on stupid.

Posted at 11:25PM on October 15th 2008 by Tika

Good men and No Good men come in all races and colors. I'm amazed at how many people are touting themselves as open minded and then follow with a stereotypical comment about black men and black relationships. I know couples that are "mono racial" as someone called it who are celebrating more than 30 years. Interracial couples get divorced like everyone else and I'm sure that when they do, it has nothing to do with their color. When women say dating/marrying white is the way to go, you're echoing the comments of the black men that you claim are wrong. Find love in whatever color it comes, but don't make it out to be that a certain color is better. Like I said good men and NO Good men come in all colors. As for the comment about being called too white by a black man, your post has a us vs. them vibe "you guys". That may be what people are picking up on. I would not expect that from anyone of my hue, regardless of their birth place.

Posted at 10:57PM on October 15th 2008 by DDJ

The majority of my life I have dated black men. I have been married to a black man. My father is a black man. I love black men. I am in my late 40's and have been single for 15 years. In the past 3 years I decided that I was no longer going to limit the pool of men I date based upon color. I do want to remarry one day and the black men I have dated have not wanted to make this commitment. I have dated several white men and have a white male friend at this time. I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone so if I meet and marry a white man or a black man I will be blessed either way. I also find that there are white men who truly appreciate the qualities of a black woman; our strengths, beauty, spirituality, etc. There are good black men and white men out there just as well as unsuitable black men and white men. This includes Latinos, Indians, Asians, etc.

Posted at 10:31PM on October 15th 2008 by Zoe